The ocean maker.

this is the video that we had to write about for our story.

 after I had written the story I had to edit it.we had to write a plan before we got to write out story. we only got to watch up until she saw the light house. the character in my story is a boy even though the person in the video is a girl our teacher said we can change the character .can I please have sume feedback on my story. I want to know if it makes sense where I have put the paragraphs because I do not use use paragraphs in my writing.

this is my story.

The ocean maker.

was flying over a dried up ocean. There were boats everywhere, there is even a submarine. Dave was looking for a cloud to use his Ocean maker. he was looking everywhere with his binoculars for a cloud but he couldn't find one. Just when he was about to give up he saw a lighthouse and the light was going. the light was pointing at a cloud.  he was about to fly to the cloud when a plane appeared out of nowhere and started shooting at him. Dave started to shoot back at the plane. They both hit each other at the same time and started Heading towards the ground.

luckle Dave Survived the crash but his plane wasn't as lucky. it was Smash to smithereens. he got the Oceanmaker get out and started walking towards the cloud. when he got there He  the ocean make it into in the cloud and then Thousands of clouds appeared and it started pouring down. in one month the ocean was back to normal.