Writing

Today in Rimu for writing we did a writing test. We had to plan it first though. here is my plan.

Opening: Introduces the setting and character setting is on the moon, that characters name is Alex he went to the moon.

Setting: Where is your setting set? Brainstorm some descriptive language now to help you. On the moon cant breath.

Characters name: Description. Flaws, feelings/attitude/character type, what they look like. Remember show not tell.  He has short black here, has wanted to go to space all his life.

Build up. What is your character/s doing leading up to the problem he went to the moon and the engines start making funny sounds. Problem - What goes wrong? He crashed on the moon. Events. What are the events which happen right after the problem? SHOW not TELL his co-pilot has died. Resolution. Is the problem resolved or left? Remember your descriptive language. SHOW not TELL he rebuilds the rocket. End. Does your character reflect on what has happened? How has your character changed? What have they learned? Is there a twist to the story? Is there a moral to the story? SHOW not TELL. the rocket got too much power and ended up crashing on Jupiter.

Character Change How does your character change/grow as a result of the problem/events/ resolution /end throughout the Narrative? (Flaws, personality , feelings/ attitudes/ character  type)

Then we had to write a story and tomorrow we are going to mack it better. Here is mine.

Oo where am I? Why is my head so sore? Why can't I move? Why am I floating? O yea I was going to the moon when the engines started to make funny sounds. We crashed some were. Where is the window I need to see where we are. I am on the moon, wow this is great, now whereDavidaved we need to go get a flag, what what is this floating? It looks like a body, oh no, it's Daved, oh no, oh no,oh no,oh no. its Daved, heś dead no he can't be dead I need him to help me get back to earth. This is bad, this is bad, this is really bad, how am I meant to get back to earth without a co pilot. Where's the radow I need to contacted mission control. mission control, mission control come in, oh no, the radow, itś broken. Now I will never get back to earth. Well, there is no point in just sitting here and doing nothing. Where's my helmet I'm going outside.

Wow itś right what the say there really isn't much gravity on the moon. Hay what is that in that crater? Somethings moving oo what is that itś got three big eyes and 4 fat arms one long leg and nine plump stomachs, and it is all black and covered in slime. It is an aleyin. I better go back to the rocket and get some weapons just in case. It is a good thing that the scientist on earth just invented a new weapon cooled a phaser. Aparintly is shots a burst of enge and it has different settings. I should probably put it on stun. Now let's get back to that crater.

Wow they seem to have lots on little houses made out of metal. And one big hall in the middle I wonder what's in there I need to go have a look but I better be careful I don't know it these creatures are friendly or not I better stay hidden, good nobody saw me now I just need to get thru this door, I know I will use the phaser, yay it worked wow what is that it looks like a stasis chamber. I wonder who is inside it? I will go have a look, oh my goodness it is Neil Armstrong. I thought he got back to earth, and he was meant to have died a long time ago. Hay that button must get him out. Neil Armstrong you have been kidnapped by aliens let's get you home, the  house will work nisly to fix my ship and it wont tach long. Good, it is fixed now let's get back. What why are we going to fast we aren't meant to go this fast, what is that jupiter. Great we have crashed on jupiter, now we are never going to get home.